So. Today i am just writting to make my stress leave...i am emotionaly ready to exploded. But i am not sure if that is into tears or into grabbing a shot gun and going trigger happy around town singing the funny farm song. (instert song words here) But seriously you guys. I am lost and i dont know what to do any more.
And to top it all off the only person that can make me happy is. Well busy off doing things with his friends...I really hate it...When i am haning out with my friends and bored some of the time doing crazy shit to get me in trouble. (insert name of dangerious things to do here) Thats when he calls me and wants to talk and stuff. But when i need him. NOPE im alone and most of the time hurting and wanting him...And even when im happy i want him around. It sucks that i cant have him here. (moments of pause to think about what to say next)
(deep sigh) Well myself and others out there economicaly/money wise we suck. My house is owned my Saxston (very bad ppl do not trust them) And so we have this HUGE Morgidge to pay. Lots of bills and thanks to the resent flood We needed Phema. BUT OH NO we cant even have that. We dont get loans from phema why? Are credit is bad! And then there's the Divorce of my horrible step grandmother Sharen (ha! irony her name has SHARE in it but she is the most greedest bitch i ever saw!)So she wants half of his retirment money. that dumb bitch cheeted on him and left him with a whole Bunch of bills to pay and i mean lots! he lost his house and had to live with us...(groans) dam i hated that. Anyway So with him probly loosing the divorce and me maybe end up loosing my house thanks to Saxston. Unable to fix up my house thanks to Phema...THIS all led to me dropping the tears today...one tiny tinyyyy money issue was what made me say "fuck it all" (or at least think it i didnt want a detention) and walk write into the girls locker room and cry.
Here's what happened. My teacher is a big HUGE a-whole. And i had him way back in elementry school. Guy never changed. He is so sexist! and Not mention a perv as well. I cant realy prove those things. but to the medgority of the high school girls he is that. Near my school is a bowling ally and the school board allows the gym teachers to take us bowling. For 3 dollors a person this year. Last year it was 7 dollors a person (i think) And last year we were given 3 shots at go for free. If we didnt have the money. Now back then i did have the money so it never bugged me. But this year i am kinda tight with cash. YES even 3 little bitty dollors! See i hate asking my mom for money. Mostly cuz i want to save up for my vacation. MY really must needed vacation! So on Monday i went for free. And today i thought Hey its wednesday...I have gym...lets go for free again and i will pay back on Friday! =3 BUT NOOO my gym couch is a fucking a-whole! (excuse my french)
So lets do this:
me: "Hey Mr.(insert gym teachers name here aka the ass whole)
him: *looks at me not dressed up for gym* "your going bowling today?"
me: Yep...what?
him: "Did you pay for last time?"
me: "No, but cant i just go for free and pay you back on friday cuz my-"
him: "No. YOU can't do that. Students are only aloud to go for free once. Then if you payed that you can go again for free, But you have to pay that too later!"
me: "Um...can't you just make a exseption cuz my mom-"
him: "And WHY should i give YOU an exseption?!"
I couldnt help it. The way he said it made me want to slap him and cry. He did that infront of everyone...I wanted to smack him! GOD DID I WANT TO! But no. instead i walked away (well more like that run walk that looks like a walk but sercetly your running) And i hid in the girls locker room stall and was texting my friend back. (i was texting him all day. Mostly b/c he is really chill and everyone seemed to be ingoring me today so i already felt shitty) When i texted him it was like i was talking...which when i talk when i am on the verg of crying i CRY! and dam do i hate when i cry! 1) it makes me look like a 3 year old mess with my face all red and puffy
2) it hurts my throat. which i didnt need today cuz im already kinda sick and 3) it somthing that i put into my brain (Crying = Weak Pathetic Baby)So what did i do kids?Instead of taking Gym. thats RIGHT! i skipped. and you know what? It didnt help at all. Cuz then you have people looking for you and detentions being given out.
All in all i learned something today. My mom is nice and she is not worried about money. My vice princapal agrees that my teacher was being an ass. And they are going to try and set up a way for kids with worse economic status then me to have this chance to go and bowl. And to make me feel a little bit better. My mom and her freind gave me 9 dollors. =) so i will pay the gym fee of the tiny 3$ i owe.
AND THEN!!! I am going to save up the rest to be the books i wanted. =3
Thank you Vladimire Tod. Your my savor with out your vampire teenage adventures i would be sooo bored during Math class.
So i end saying TooT Ah LU
~Iqpid Kimberley
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Long Distent Relationships? OMG! Are you Crazy! He's a Pedofile!
Hello Readers.
*takes and deep breath and lets it out* Okay! So. My "fiance" or rather my boyfriend: Zine.
Lives in Oregon! and Me? I live in Rhode Island...let me count the miles for you!
Over 3,0750+ miles (i searched google) now that is very far. I live on the east cost he lives on the west cost. Yeah it is very stressful. I'm so tired of explaining where he lives and getting that: is-she-out-of-her-mind look. i know its crazy, that dating someone that far away is nearly impossible. But i have been dating him for 3 years now. and i love him. <3
And again with the is-she-out-of-her-mind look. Okay readers! Let me explain. before you click the little red X. So i may never have met him in real life before. But i am No Fool. I checked on him. I looked at his friends, and even talked to some of them! I got his mother's facebook and her cell phone number. I also have the home phone. It took me only a matter of months to get these things. and he has a web cam. So i have seen his face. Yes people he is NOT a 60 year old man with a lack of sex. and a interest for young girls. On the contrary he is a 159 year old demon that has a body of a 17 year old. (that is a inside joke btw) But yeah. I hate to explain THAT little investigation to my friends and i dont talk about him much when i am talking to my shcool friends so when i say "Oh yeah my boyfriend is into that type of music too" they ask "you have a bf?" and im like " . . . YES for over THREE YEARS. . ." and then we go into that awkward moment after i explain it for the umpteenth time. The only person that i talk about "zine" with is my best friend Sammie! <3 She is that kind of bestie that sticks around with you after you almost burn the forest down and helps you stomp it out with her sneakers. And at the end of the day your both trying to get the ash and gunk off with bleach! The kind of best friend that will sneak out of the house with you in rain just to go to a friends house and shoot bee bee guns at one another. She is Sexy, Naughty and Bitchy (like the song) and Me? I'm the girl next door.
So back to Zine. i love him a lot. But like every long distant relationship we have our ups and downs. Mostly surrounded by the need to meet each other and "is he cheating?"
Now let me show you what Zine was Before we started dating.
Long Brown hair down to the middle of his back. Black eyes that seemed lifeless and dazed. He would have yellow nasty teeth. And drink alone or with his buddies all the time. and this Boy drank Whiskery! He would start fires and do dangerious shit that could get him killed. He would make himself bleed, and others bleed for personal pleasure. He would use woman for money and other things he wanted. (sexual ect.) And on top of it all he would Never go to school, but some how have amazingly good grades for someone as fucked up as him (im talking C+'s people) And one day, the day i met him. He was thinking about suicide. So there i was on Myspace (yes i met my soul mate on myspace! people think i was crazy) and he just logged into the chat. and i saw his display pic. and i thought "omg look at those eyes..." so i looked around his profile and his pictures and he was kinda "Ew" But i saw something there. i knew if he cleaned up he be HOT. So i went on to talking to him. He was busy trying to push some girl into fighting with him. Like you know "i.m. fights when your TYPING IN CAPS TO EXPRESS YOUR ANGER!" So i start going on his side and everyone else is on the girls and i think i surprised him. So we started to share emails and adding each other on myspace. I stayed up all night talking to this guy. And by the end of the night he told me how no body really ever cared about him and i said "well in that case *kisses* i love you <3" (you just said that so he wouldn't kill himself cuz you care to damn much) But as i grew to know him i grew to really love him.
And he changed so much for me. He stopped getting into fights, went to school more, stopped drinking and stopped using people, brushed his teeth (thank god) and cut his hair.
And the best of it all is after trying and trying to see him this Spring i am seeing him for the first time. Its going to be amazing. And i will tell you guys all about it later. As for now i am off watching Cartoon Network =3
~iqpid kimberley
*takes and deep breath and lets it out* Okay! So. My "fiance" or rather my boyfriend: Zine.
Lives in Oregon! and Me? I live in Rhode Island...let me count the miles for you!
Over 3,0750+ miles (i searched google) now that is very far. I live on the east cost he lives on the west cost. Yeah it is very stressful. I'm so tired of explaining where he lives and getting that: is-she-out-of-her-mind look. i know its crazy, that dating someone that far away is nearly impossible. But i have been dating him for 3 years now. and i love him. <3
And again with the is-she-out-of-her-mind look. Okay readers! Let me explain. before you click the little red X. So i may never have met him in real life before. But i am No Fool. I checked on him. I looked at his friends, and even talked to some of them! I got his mother's facebook and her cell phone number. I also have the home phone. It took me only a matter of months to get these things. and he has a web cam. So i have seen his face. Yes people he is NOT a 60 year old man with a lack of sex. and a interest for young girls. On the contrary he is a 159 year old demon that has a body of a 17 year old. (that is a inside joke btw) But yeah. I hate to explain THAT little investigation to my friends and i dont talk about him much when i am talking to my shcool friends so when i say "Oh yeah my boyfriend is into that type of music too" they ask "you have a bf?" and im like " . . . YES for over THREE YEARS. . ." and then we go into that awkward moment after i explain it for the umpteenth time. The only person that i talk about "zine" with is my best friend Sammie! <3 She is that kind of bestie that sticks around with you after you almost burn the forest down and helps you stomp it out with her sneakers. And at the end of the day your both trying to get the ash and gunk off with bleach! The kind of best friend that will sneak out of the house with you in rain just to go to a friends house and shoot bee bee guns at one another. She is Sexy, Naughty and Bitchy (like the song) and Me? I'm the girl next door.
So back to Zine. i love him a lot. But like every long distant relationship we have our ups and downs. Mostly surrounded by the need to meet each other and "is he cheating?"
Now let me show you what Zine was Before we started dating.
Long Brown hair down to the middle of his back. Black eyes that seemed lifeless and dazed. He would have yellow nasty teeth. And drink alone or with his buddies all the time. and this Boy drank Whiskery! He would start fires and do dangerious shit that could get him killed. He would make himself bleed, and others bleed for personal pleasure. He would use woman for money and other things he wanted. (sexual ect.) And on top of it all he would Never go to school, but some how have amazingly good grades for someone as fucked up as him (im talking C+'s people) And one day, the day i met him. He was thinking about suicide. So there i was on Myspace (yes i met my soul mate on myspace! people think i was crazy) and he just logged into the chat. and i saw his display pic. and i thought "omg look at those eyes..." so i looked around his profile and his pictures and he was kinda "Ew" But i saw something there. i knew if he cleaned up he be HOT. So i went on to talking to him. He was busy trying to push some girl into fighting with him. Like you know "i.m. fights when your TYPING IN CAPS TO EXPRESS YOUR ANGER!" So i start going on his side and everyone else is on the girls and i think i surprised him. So we started to share emails and adding each other on myspace. I stayed up all night talking to this guy. And by the end of the night he told me how no body really ever cared about him and i said "well in that case *kisses* i love you <3" (you just said that so he wouldn't kill himself cuz you care to damn much) But as i grew to know him i grew to really love him.
And he changed so much for me. He stopped getting into fights, went to school more, stopped drinking and stopped using people, brushed his teeth (thank god) and cut his hair.
And the best of it all is after trying and trying to see him this Spring i am seeing him for the first time. Its going to be amazing. And i will tell you guys all about it later. As for now i am off watching Cartoon Network =3
~iqpid kimberley
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